GREETINGS FROM WORLD HEADQUARTERS

If you've stumbled onto this site you may be asking yourself, "Just who the hell is this guy and why should I care?" Okay, maybe you wouldn't ask yourself that. I would ask that, but then who am I? You begin to see where that line of questioning can go.

I'm just some schlub who has dabbled in this and that, as opposed to having had any kind of realistic goals. As child of the Space Age (that was before the MySpace Age) I wanted to be an astronaut, until I found out that actual work was involved. Then I wanted to be a cartoonist, largely because I was the best cartoonist at Byron Elementary School. Sad to relate, I spent the next 25 years pursuing art as a career only to discover that I had pretty much peaked in the third grade. Still, I managed to make some money along the way.

I jumped on the standup comedy bandwagon in the early 1980s in Atlanta and took mediocrity to a whole new level. This was at the urging of my good friend Dr. Emil Fazuil*, who was drunk at the time. So was I. I worked with a lot of pretty big names before they became famous. One or two of them might remember me vaguely, vague being a fairly accurate description of my act. I might have succeeded but for a lack of insane ambition. I had the talent, I think, but I wasn't willing to work to acquire the skills.

I was 27 when I first got the comedy bug. At the outset standup comedy looks like a pretty good deal. It's the only job I know of that allows you to drink on the job, it's a great way to meet women and, at the top, the pay is crazy good, hundreds or even thousands of dollars per hour. Even on the lowest rungs you can make 20 or 30 bucks a minute. The downside is sometimes you might have a 14 hour drive to work. A few years of that and a day job starts to look not quite so horrible. See, the thing is, from out there in the audience, standup looks easy. It ain't.


*Names have been changed to protect the guilty. I don't know very many innocent people.